Good Bye 2009

For those who have read this space in the past, you are aware that tradition demands that we look at the year that is ending.

With tongue in cheek, a combination lock on my wallet, fear of death from eating non sustainable foods, raw eggs, rare meat or non organic fruit, choking on polluted air, burning up as the earth warms or being eaten by impending socialism and the swine flu. I bravely look at 2009's award winners!

THE BIGGEST LOST OPPORTUNITY AWARD

Hands down, this belongs to the newly inaugurated President of the United States. History was made, a minority was elected as president. The opportunity to destroy myths and prejudice were in his hands. To this point, he has failed miserably.

All that has been proven is that a Community Organizer is not equipped to lead anything larger than a city block. More about this on Jan. 18 when we present the year one report card.

THE HERO(S) OF THE YEAR AWARD

THERE ARE TWO RECIPIENTS - First as always the brave men and woman of the US Armed Forces. Without them I would not be free to write this piece and you would not be able to read it. When you see a member of our military thank them, it means more than you know.

SULLY - Yes the pilot who landed his plane in the Hudson river. His calm decision making, quick action and professionalism deserve this award. And all of this was accomplished while he was admittedly "scared to death".

DUMB AND DUMBER AWARD

AGAIN WE HAVE TWO WINNERS, BOTH FROM "THE FRIENDLY SKIES".

First the pilot and co-pilot who crashed their commuter plane into a house during a snow storm in Buffalo, NY. They are no longer with us nor are their passengers. Tragedy is not funny, however the cockpit tapes indicate that the "mile high" club was being attended.

The pilot and co-pilot in charge of the Northwest flight that over flew the Minneapolis airport by 150 miles. There are no words to describe this type of idiocy. Maybe it can be blamed on George W. Bush!!!!!

SOCIAL EVENT OF THE YEAR AWARD

Another no brainer. The White House Beer Bash. Cambridge, Mass. police are still idiot's the Harvard professor has kept his position and the Cambridge police officer is still putting his life on the line to protect him. HOW IS THAT CHANGE YOU CAN COUNT ON WORKING OUT FOR YOU? Looks more like bigotry than change.

THE KAOPECTATE AWARD

There were so many deserving nominees, it was almost impossible to eliminate them all. After much consternation I have selected the following, for their ability to upset my stomach and keep me in the bathroom:

Vice President Joe Biden - Hopefully there will be a cure for foot and mouth disease before he is out of office. Has anyone seen the V.P. overseeing the stimulus money??? MORE CHANGE THAT YOU CAN COUNT ON!

Speaker Nancy Pelosi -She is an expert at un truths, but accusing the CIA of lying really crosses the line. Apparently, The Speaker can't tell the truth from a face lift. If she wants to look at a fabricator she should look in the mirror, if she can stand it!

Sen. Harry Reid - The next time he is right will be the first! To the people of Nevada, Please get this guy a job cleaning casino bathrooms next year. He has demonstrated that he knows how to "shovel" stuff.

Former Vice President Al Gore - I am amazed that this guy is still in the public light. From inventing the Internet to producing a computer generated film. His chutzpah in continuing the charade(s) is amazing!

I need the bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!

WILLIE THE ACTOR SUTTON AWARD

FYI - Willie "the actor" Sutton was famous for having the ability to break out of any jail in the US. In essence, he could get away with anything:

AND THE WINNERS ARE - Bill Mahre who referred to the president and his wife in ethnic slurs. Which I will not repeat. Mr. Mahre is a "lefty" he can say or do anything and get a free pass! CAN YOU SAY DUEL STANDARD?

Congressman Charles Rangle - Tax evasion investigation and generally inept, yet he too gets a free pass. Lets fantasize about him being Caucasian and Republican!!!!!!! Hey Chuck who pays for those $2,000.00 suits?

THE ATHLETE OF THE YEAR

Again this year it is Tiger Woods. We knew of his golfing skills, we now know that his accomplishments on the links were achieved while his mind was elsewhere. IT'S HIS BUSINESS - LETS LEAVE HIM ALONE. Remember, a cover up begets a cover up!

THE BIG HEART AWARD

Jay Leno for giving the people of Detroit Michigan three free shows. Good work Jay, hopefully the audience understood your jokes.

Gary Senise - for all that he does for our troops.

THEY LEFT US IN '09

Paul Harvey - GOOD DAY we now know "the rest of the story" and thanks.

Bea Arthur - She made us laugh - she will be missed.

Ed Mc Mahon - From Baltimore to Philadelphia, New York to L.A. From wealth to the sad ending. A unique personality. Heeers to you Ed.

Farrah Faucett - Perhaps the first sex symbol since Monroe! Class to the very end!

Harry Kalis - The voice that succeeded Facenda. He was one of the best at drawing word pictures for over 30 years. Harry you will never be "OUTTA HERE".

Unis Kennedy Schreiber- She never let her name or social position stand in the way of her dream of bringing pride to those who needed it! The "special Olympics" are truly special because of her.

Oscar Mayer - He was far more than a "worsht macher". He was to food processing what Henry Ford was to the car. A live hog went in one door and hot dogs, bacon, etc. went out the other. We can also thank him for heart burn and cholesterol.

Walter Cronkite - Age took it's toll, he was the "most trusted man in America", back in the day. We will never forget him on that fateful November afternoon, "The president has died". Or the hot July afternoon, no words, just his expression when man walked on the moon.

TED KENNEDY - You either loved him or hated him, there was little mid ground. No matter which side of the scale you were on, you had to respect his desire to serve. Frankly, he was never my favorite, we did agree on good scotch and his propensity for woman!

DAILY NEWSPAPERS - the Chicago Tribune, L.A. Times and other big hitters are in some form of bankruptcy. The N.Y times is struggling as well as their subsidiary the Boston Globe. Frankly, good riddance to them all. They have reaped what they have sewn.

MICHAEL JACKSON - we can't take anything away from his on stage talent. We can feel badly for the lack of a childhood. Was it all really worth it?

Finally, I look back at The stimulus plan which seems to need Viagara to get started, David Letterman who thought that rape was a joke until he got caught with his hand in the (you fill in the rest). Crises which should never be wasted and a beauty pageant contestant who lost her crown because she spoke her true feelings!

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND LETS LOOK AHEAD TO 2010 LATER IN THE WEEK.

WHAT'S YOUR PRICE?

For the past few months I have not been able to provide the type or quality of thought that the readers of this spot deserve. The reasons for my "block" are not important, what really matters is that I'm ready to go. There is a clear mission which I intend to pursue, with facts, fun and vigor.

I cannot get into the meat of today's topic without mentioning the announcement that Susan Sarandan and Tim Robbins have split. No real surprise, Tim's prescription for Viagara could not be extended, and Susan has run out of cosmetic surgery options.

A personal note to Susan and Tim, you are proof that misery loves company.

WHAT'S YOUR PRICE?

Rather than join those who have attacked, questioned or exposed the inadequacies and "mis-speaks" in the numerous Health Care Reform proposals, I prefer to address the manner in which votes were purchase in The Senate.

Webster defines prostitution, as selling yourself for physical pleasure to the opposite or same gender. The buyer is generally referred to as The John (or I suppose that you could also say a Jane).

Although there have been numerous purchases, I want to look at just two.

Harry Reid is the John and Senator Landrieu the seller

Senator Landrieu (D. LA) - received $300M dollars in aid for storm repairs. Lets see, the storm took place over 5 years ago, billions of dollars have been spent and except for a small part of New Orleans, most of the damage has been repaired.

Pray tell, where will all the money go? History tells us that the State of Louisiana is among the top 5 most corrupt states in the nation. Perhaps, Mayor Ray (school bus) Nagen can find a use for the money? A new parking lot for school buses or empty house trailers might be nice.

Senator Landrieu got the money and she the John got her vote!

Senator Reid remains the John, but this time Senator Nelson (D Neb.) the seller.

This deal is really great, Senator Nelson succeeded in getting his state an exemption from future increases in Medi-Caid payment. Essentially, Nebraska will be getting services without sharing in the increased costs forever. A great free ride.

The concession which refers to government paid abortion may well be the largest concession given to any politician. I have always 12believed that if I had nothing to do with the pregnancy, I have no responsibility for the cost of it's outcome.

The Great State of Nebraska, home of Boy's Town, Warren Buffett and the now closed race track named Aksarben, elected a great Senator.

I take my hat off to both Senator's Landrieu and Nelson, they did their job, by serving the people of their states. Unfortunately, the leader of the Senate, Harry Reid (D Nev.) again proves his desperation to please the puppeteers that pull his strings has no boundary. We can only hope that Senator Reid can get a job in a casion in 2011, maybe he could be in charge of hiring cocktail waitresses?

Finally, how come we hear nothing about the price paid for the votes of Senators Specter, Casey, Menendez, Lautenberg, Snow, Lieberman, or Schumer. Apparently they serviced the John for free.

It's great being back - A Happy Holiday to all and to all a good night.

Will be writing again on Monday December 28.